Farcical Based Practice

Farcical Based Practice

Farcical Based Practice

The family tree of practice frameworks contains multiple family members and it is full of variety. Some are funnier, more popular, and successful. Each member is important in their own unique way and contributes to the overall health and well-being of the family.

Everyone is familiar with evidence based practice and some are familiar with its better-looking sibling, science based practice. However, nobody speaks about the more popular, farcical based practice (FBP).

This practice framework is so popular, it is done millions of times each day. Until now FBP was not given the attention it rightly deserves! This method will guarantee financial success and increase your feelings of grandiosity as a healer.

My gift to you:

5 Keys to guarantee success in a manual therapy practice
  1. Use only palpation assessment. Nothing works better to instill patient confidence than to have a trusting therapist place their hands on them and assess joint movement and tissue quality. The more self-assured and convinced your hands feel to the patient the greater trust they will have in you to locate and remove their pain.Now is your chance to assess craniosacral rhythms, crooked innominates, rotated vertebre, and the ever-plentiful myofascial adhesions that plague the body!
  2. Pathologize your patient. Make sure to always tell them in very explicit terms everything that is possibly wrong with them. It is best to keep that limited to structural and anatomical deviations, but if you feel competent enough to elaborate on psychic energy problems from a difficult birthing experience or a sensation that some of their viscera may have relocated, please express this in excited and descriptive terms so the patient is aware how bad their body really is. This creates a great opportunity for you to explain how lucky they are to have found you because you have all the tools necessary to make them better!
  3. Hurt them, A LOT! Work as deep as possible on all their sore spots. Push, grind, strip, repeat until you are exhausted and the patient can no longer tolerate your extraordinary manual skills. Your ability to deliver unimaginable pain should be worn as a badge of honour. For added benefit, work on other areas the patient didn’t have any prior concerns about as this will guarantee a repeat appointment where you can ‘fix’ it next time.
  4. Give incredible self-care advice. Overemphasize posture. Have patients sit and stand rigid like a brick wall. Make sure they co-contract their abdominal wall and spinal muscles. If their pain does not improve, blame them, as obviously, they aren’t doing the exercises properly. Prolonged static stretching. Hold and force stretches beyond what they can tolerate. Tell them that burn they feel is probably myofascial adhesions ripping.
  5. Instil fear that they need to return ASAP. It is always best to make them know that any improvements they are feeling are the result of your magical skills and your hard work and that if they do not return ASAP their symptoms will regress. If possible give them a discount by prepaying for bulk appointments. Even if they don’t need them, or they are feeling worse, don’t worry about it, you’ve already successfully fleeced them from their healthcare benefits and hard earned cash. Give yourself a high five if you convince them that 2 treatments a week for 3 months is quality care.

Hopefully by now you have realized the sarcasm.

Thanks for reading.